Starting the new year here is a buzz of activity, conversation and change in the air. Now that our eldest is finally settled into her class for the year (school organization can be time consuming) I have been eagerly awaiting to hear the news from the school yard when I collect our Miss 6 in the afternoons. Now if you remember (Social Stigma Sux) my Miss 6 tends to live happily in her own bubble. Sure she interacts with the real word, but for the most part she seems to be off on some wonderful magical adventure where fairies roam and lollipops grow like flowers in the garden and all is good and rainbows abound. So I wasn’t surprised when we pulled into our driveway and having not received a response the entire car trip I turned around to face Miss 6 looking mighty puzzled and a bit concerned.
“What’s wrong baby”, I gently chide, knowing there’s only about a 35% chance I will get an answer remotely related to my question. But to my surprise she actually heard me.
“Do you hear that?” she asks in a dulcet tone, quietly so as not to alarm the elves I suppose.
“Hear what? The sounds from outside?” I prod for more information well aware that I might not get any more information on this mystery noise as Miss 6 is known to change the topic without warning and I could just as easily end up getting a lecture on the difference between cold, hot and warm water as was the case a few mornings ago when I asked who she thought she might play with at school that day. She explained to me the differences at length, a whole 9 minutes and 48 seconds of information, mostly repetitive, on hot, cold and warm water.
“No, the sound is in my ears”, and so the mystery deepened. For a brief moment part of me wanted to take her to the doctors, she must have an ear infection, or a hearing problem as this would surely explain her aloofness when it came to conversations with me. Then part of me wanted to shake her shoulders as I tell her it’s the aliens calling as the frustration of not being able to crack into her world pains me as I desperately try to build a deeper connection with my girl.
“Is it always there, the sound?” trying to rule out anything actually medical I ask for more information.
“No, only in the car” she says simply. The she added “It sounds ‘neeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr'”. And then all of me wanted to embrace my sweet mystical girl with cuddles and love as we celebrate her unique quirkiness. You see this isn’t an unusual conversation for us by any means. The fact I got any information out of her is a win. Even if part of me still wants to chide her by saying its the aliens making contact.
This morning I woke her, my sweet sleeping child. As I gently tussled her hair and told her it was time to wake up she murmured “But I won’t grow wings”. I insisted she had to get up, it’s a school morning and she dreamily replied again “I want to grow wings”. As she slowly flopped out of bed, her beautiful blond waves covering most of her angelic face she told me about how if she slept she would grow wings “like a fairy”. Ah yes, my child’s ultimate dream is to be a fairy, and a teacher, and a face-painter! But mostly a fairy. I gently console her and explain if she actually went to sleep when I put her in bed instead of getting out of bed and mucking about for the next one and a half hours she might one day grow her fairy wings (then I quickly consider how I can make this happen, a new pair of fairy wings on the end of her bed the day she actually goes to sleep on her bed time?).
You see, i don’t want to change my daughter. I love her just the way she is. Even when I ask her questions about what she wants to eat or did she write at school that day ad I am met with the same response of “I want to be a fairy” as she smiles off into her own secret get away magical place, I don’t want her to change. The world is full of cruelty, sadness and tragedy. Kids are only kids for such a short time. For now my daughter is safe in her bubble, safe from the evils of the real world. She still has the magic of childhood running through her veins. So whilst I plan how to make lollipop land happen when the beads in her wish bracelet finally fall out, I love my girl for all that she is.
