The Power of Popularity

We have all witnessed it; the power of popularity, how it can entice people to follow or copy another. We see this every time Kate Middleton steps out in a new dress, the media even encourage this power of popularity by posting photos and practically purchasing the same outfit for you including links to stores and websites that sell similar attire. As a mother the power of popularity draws you in to purchasing new toys that claim to procure your child to improve their fine motor, gross motor, language skills and the list goes on. The products are stacked high on the shelves and you noticed the same toy at your friends place or saw a post about it on a mums Facebook page or blog; you can’t let your child suffer and fall behind for not owning the same equipment obviously vital to their development right?

This power of popularity has its merit in motherhood. When you become a mother you become the cornerstone to your child’s world, their central focal point, and you are given your first true fans. Just like a celebrity you instantly have followers when you have (young) children (mine are all little so I can’t comment on a Mummy’s status when her children are of high school age).  Being a SAHM I do live a rock star-esque life to some extent. I get to stay up all night (usually not my choice, nay, never my choice), I have my name yelled out all the time , “Mum, Mummmm, Mummy!Mummmmmmmmmmmmm….MUM!”, often with waves to alert me to the current position of my miniature fans. I get flowers given to me, and other items handed/thrown at me, ranging from garden discoveries to snot to food, toys and clothes. My eldest Miss 4 launches herself at me when she decides its time for a cuddle. I often feel groggy in the mornings (from lack of sleep mostly, or sometimes from whatever viral illness is plaguing our household) and I am in such demand that I get to perform every day, singing favourite nursery rhymes, dancing to the radio, singing whatever actions we are doing like “Now its time to pack away, pack away, pack away” and so forth. I even get cheered on to perform encore nursery rhymes at bed time which if I’m super tired, I’ll be honest I do tend to pick up the tempo a bit as I make my way for the door to claim exile in my dressing room/bedroom. But my fans often follow me there, bursting through the door and grabbing at me pleading for more!

Whilst my powers of popularity with my children are great, they do not conquer all battles in our household. Trying to get my Miss 4 and Miss 2 to eat broccoli is like trying to get a hamster to do backstroke. As babies my girls loved broccoli and all other green foods, but as toddler-hood emerged they became picky with particular foods, excusing them from their diet based on it being too slimy/green/yucky or as Miss 2 eloquently tells me with her scrunched up nose, “It’s ssgusting!”. I tried to make the food seem more desirable, and husband played along too, “Mmmm, this is soooo yummy, and I’m going to be sooo strong and have sooo much energy to play because I’m eating my vegetables”. This was met with blank looks and uneaten greens again, much like a new single that flops on the charts and remains unsold on shelves in music stores.

So I thought about this battle of the broccoli some more and realised that my kids were popular with each other also. Whatever Miss 2 has Miss 4 wants and whatever Master 7 months old has, Miss 2 wants and whatever Miss 4 has Miss 2 usually takes and whatever Miss 2 has Miss 4 usually takes and well Master 7 months just takes what he can get really. I mean every single morning there is a scuffle over who gets the tall wooden chair (the defeated child sits in the plastic high chair attached to a regular chair, so blasé right). Next is the fight over who gets the fairy bowl or the Dorothy Dinosaur bowl, then the rose spoon and the rabbit mug and the list goes on. So serving up our lovely green vegetables again I mention, “Look, Master 7 months old is eating his broccoli, he will be soo big and sooo strong and have sooo much energy!” Miss 2 tries eating the broccoli but insists its “Ssgusting!”. Even if she did eat her broccoli Miss 4 is not tempted to try the veggies. Sigh. The next obvious step is bribery, usually in the form of a sweet treat after dinner if one eats their veggies. Miss 4 takes up this offer, eating a tiny morsel of green tree then demanding I pay up with the ice cream, “With sauce Mummy…and sprinkles!”. Did I just cancel out the goodness of the green food with ice cream!

So the power of popularity doesn’t have the desired affect with the green vegetables. But I haven’t forgotten about it, as it can be used effectively in other areas. For instance, my attention. If I want both my older children to do something in particular, such as putting on their shoes or packing away toys, I just need to focus my energy on one and the other will soon follow. I use praise all over the child who is doing what I ask and soon the other child will follow. Of course I then praise them also and voilà shoes on, toys away! But wait, now they are fighting again…..intent on being the one who puts on their shoes first or packs away the books and blocks…..somebody do something!!!!!

So with kids it isn’t necessarily the power of popularity (at least I hope they won’t succumb to this power when they are older and have outside influences that might not be the most pleasing for a parent), but the power of positive, specifically positive praise. And if that fails, I highly recommend purchasing or borrowing a vacuum with a clear case. As soon as Miss 4 noticed the vacuum had “eaten” a small toy of hers she left lying in the floor, she was very quick to pack away all her belongings. All I need to tell her now is that the vacuum, which sits peacefully in our living room, is getting hungry and she races to tidy up!

Lastly on the topic of popularity in parenthood,  I am my kids biggest fan and I sense I will become more annoying and less flattering as they get older. I’m not sure clapping at all their achievements and bragging on Facebook will always be so charming (if it even is now). I can tell as my Miss 2 already declines to smile for most photos, hiding from her mumarazzi, and my 7 month old, whilst happy to stare his dreamy eyes into the lens, begins squinting in preparation for the inevitable flash when I produce the camera. Either way, in motherhood, popularity amongst family members equates to love, and this happily fills our home.